It's about YOU.
Self-healing isn't about healing alone or without any outside support. It is about empowered self-initiated healing that puts YOU at the center. Only you know what you truly need, what's best for you, and what feels "right." Unfortunately, unresolved trauma can disrupt these natural instincts and disconnect us from our true selves and soul's calling.
Self-healing is about creating the ideal healing environment. This means learning how best to balance and care for your body, mind and spirit. Everyone is different, and everyone heals in their own time and in their own way. However, Phoenix has discovered some foundational healing principles that could give structure to your unique path, as long as it resonates with you.
Phoenix wants everyone to have access to these self-healing tools and believes strongly in spreading her message. On the "Self-Healing 101" pages, you'll find basic summaries of what she teaches. These powerful tools of transformation are for those who feel called to them. Please do not blindly use them as dogma in hopes of "fixing" yourself or problems. What works for some does not work for all. This type of healing is not about just isolating the issue and resolving it--it's about opening up to a whole new way of life that honors the present moment, your feelings, your past, your true self and a personal relationship with God/The Universe.
STEPPING INTO YOUR HERO'S JOURNEY
You're exactly where you need to be, learning the lessons you need to learn. Promise.
You are not here by accident and what you're going through right now has a purpose. We are all on the journey of overcoming our egos and transcending into our natural state of existence (aka our non-traumatized state). It's called "The Hero's Journey" or the mono-myth. Turns out, every great story ever told follows this basic plot, and so does the story of our lives when we're willing to answer the "call to adventure."
You see, you've come to fight the big fight, it just looks different than you may have wanted or imagined. But it's been created uniquely for you, and you came to this life to overcome all your greatest obstacles and live your dreams! YOU CAN TRIUMPH OVER ANYTHING! All you need to do is take stock of your resources, your skills, your strengths, your allies, reflect on your lessons learned so far and find the courage and faith to move forward even when it seems impossible.
You are stronger than you think you are! And you have already come so far. Let's build on what you've already created and make a stronger foundation for healing and growth. This way, you can carry on your journey with more clarity and less struggle.
Understanding the Traumatized Brain
If you're suffering from unresolved trauma, you may feel unsafe in many situations that are actually safe. And, confusing enough, the reverse is true as well--you may feel safe in situations that are unsafe. This is a confusing reality to navigate, but some basic steps can be taken to start to unravel this.
First, start tuning into the present moment and realize this is all there ever is of life: THIS MOMENT RIGHT NOW. The past isn't real and no one is promised the future. Most thoughts are repetitive and are a distraction from the now. Instead, tune into what's going on inside your body and outside of you more closely. Practice mindfulness techniques as much as you can. This will help you ground into present reality and into your body, which you may have disconnected from significantly.
Next, you may find you have some uncomfortable feelings, or may even have some uncomfortable realizations about your life. You may realize you don't treat yourself as well as you do others or perhaps that someone you love isn't treating you well. These can be hard realities to face because they bring up things we don't want to deal with. Things we would rather bury or dissociate from. But when we don't deal with them, life has a way of forcing us to eventually. Usually through more trauma. It's a harsh reality, but it's how our self-healing universe operates. We will continue to unconsciously put ourselves in a similar traumatic situation, like the one we are trying to heal from, in order to bring what's unconscious into consciousness to be healed.
Now, if you're still reading this, you're doing great! Take a few deep breathes and take a minute to process.
Please know that others have overcome great obstacles and so can you! But you must learn to keep yourself safe and have strong boundaries for yourself against others who may be harming you or toxic.
SAFETY STARTS INSIDE YOU. As a traumatized people, we can often feel unsafe when there's actually no current threat happening. Like right now, perhaps you feel on edge because you are realizing how much "work" you have to do on yourself and it feels overwhelming. Those intense arousal sensations are coming from your nervous system and it's something you'll learn how to better manage over time. That's what trauma healing is all about--you're "re-wiring" your nervous system so it works properly again by healing unresolved traumas.
Using your best judgment, move towards what feels safe and good. Understand that other people may not actually be threatening you or trying to harm you. But sometimes they are, so by increasing your present moment awareness and a safe space for yourself, you can begin to unpack who is good for you and who isn't.
If you are in a physically unsafe situation, such as inter-partner violence, please seek outside help now. Do not wait until it's too late.